Tag: Arsenal

Arsenal and the Holy Grail

Posted on October 9th, by batmandela in Champions League, General, Opinion, Tarot. 9 comments

The story of Parcival is practically word-for-word the story of our hunky French striker! It’s like History repeating itself! History repeating itself! And here’s the good part…

West Ham vs Arsenal: The Planets Align

Posted on October 7th, by batmandela in Barclays Premier League, Opinion. No Comments

“They’re all on the same plane. They’re all going around in the same direction…It’s perfect you know. It’s gorgeous. It’s almost uncanny.”

Arsenal Cookbook (Part 1): Breakfast

Posted on October 4th, by batmandela in Arsenal Cookbook, General, The Squad. No Comments

Today we’re going to make a meal out of that simplest, most traditional of breakfasts…

Wenger Diaries (Part 1): A Golden Goat

Posted on October 2nd, by batmandela in General, Wenger Diaries. No Comments

Exclusive! Excerpts from Arséne Wenger’s personal diaries*… Le Prof, as you’ve never seen him before: Raw and exposed.

(*Not really)

Arsenal Haik-who?

Posted on September 26th, by batmandela in General, The Squad. 4 comments

What do you do when your throat’s on fire, your sinuses are exploding and your fever’s rising? You wake up in the middle of the night and write a haiku for each member of the Arsenal squad, that’s what. See if you can figure them all out…

Man City v Arsenal: Coulda. Shoulda. Didn’t.

Posted on September 24th, by batmandela in Barclays Premier League, Opinion. 2 comments

I’ll gladly take an away point from the reigning Champions. We remain unbeaten this season, and that’s fuel in the tank for next week’s game against the European Champions. But I’m NOT going to comfort myself on how close we were to beating City. Shoulda, coulda, didn’t.

Shocking Revelation: The Inevitable Fall of Manchester!

Posted on September 22nd, by batmandela in General, Opinion. 3 comments

I’m not the kind of person who lets facts and stats get in the way of what I believe. (You’ve probably realized that by now.) So I have to rely on other things to support my fantastical Arsenal theories, such as the Tarot, or silly quotes. That way, I’m always right, and no-one can argue with me or prove I’m an idiot.

Fools Rule (Part 3) – Gunners Divine

Posted on September 20th, by batmandela in Fools Rule, General, Opinion. 1 Comment

Is it a bird? is it a plane? is it Superman? No, wait… It’s just dust on the lens…

Ten of Swords (reversed): Arsenal Reborn

Posted on September 17th, by batmandela in Barclays Premier League, FFP, Opinion, Tarot. 2 comments

It’s like Arsenal, as a snake-entity, has shed its old skin: Pat Rice gone, money-grabbers gone, an attitude of zero-tolerance towards disloyalists, and a group of players remaining that look coolly desperate to convince. It’s a privilege to witness, this rebirth.

The Convincibles – Why this season is make-or-break for Arsenal

Posted on September 15th, by batmandela in Barclays Premier League, Opinion, The Squad. 7 comments

Every season is make-or-break for Arsenal.

At least that's what you'd think if you paid any attention to any of the millions of things that delivered opinion to the 21st Century Gooner: Boobtube, Arsetube, Twit-tube, Intertube… Hell – I reckon there are even carrier pigeons out there with “MAKE-OR-BREAK SEASON FOR ARSENAL!” scrolls attached to their scaly little sky-rat diabys.

At the beginning of each new season, there is a collective urge – after patting ourselves on the back for last season's Bronze medal – to pile pressure on the Manager, and whatever players remain at the club. The dizzying height of our recent (who'm I kidding!) glory days was as addictive as that blue meth in “Breaking Bad” – we liked being at the top of the food chain. It suited our self-image, and gave us the right to puff up and gloat and insult all those other scumbag clubs out there.

But The Seven Year Itch is upon us. And after losing our Captain and key players for two years on the trot, there is a sense that one more year of settling for Champions League qualification just won't crack it. Arsene Wenger himself, while squashing rumours of a … Read More »