Pitchfork and torch sales are up. So are black scarf sales. And apparently Cleaver & Gush – (Purveyors of Fine Guillotines – By Appointment To Her Majesty The Queen) have had an inordinate number of hits on their website. Which can only mean one thing:

Yup. Some fans may be content to just sit back and watch their Arsenal slide into obscurity. Others are revolting.

You can catch the latter at any given moment: indiscriminately flaming other online Gooners. Hysterically tweeching:

“We want our Arsenal back! #WengerOut”

“Y r hapy with decade of no troaphy Arsenal? UR n idiot. Same like Wenger. #WengerOut”

“Wenger is runing our club. We need Guadoila hell fix it Barcilona always win silverwere. #PepIn #WengerOut”

Temperatures are rising. Fingers are being pointed. Matches are being boycotted. Marches are being planned. The team is being booed. (And all the while, the media gleefully amplifies the noise – not the signal – perhaps because it fits in better with their let’s-criticize-Arsenal-at-every-opportunity agenda?)

Possibly inspired by the Arab Spring, or the Occupy Movement – angry Arsenal fans are saying ‘enough is enough’ and clamouring for heads to roll… starting with the head of our once-revered Manager, Arséne Wenger. And ostensibly followed by those … Read More »

Temperatures are rising. Arsenal is boo-ed off the pitch at half time. Things could turn ugly…

A rather ruffled ARSÉNE WENGER pushes a large shopping cart packed with footballers up to the counter. He fumbles through his pockets, eventually producing a fistful of wrinkled receipts, which he places on the counter…

The story of Parcival is practically word-for-word the story of our hunky French striker! It’s like History repeating itself! History repeating itself! And here’s the good part…

“They’re all on the same plane. They’re all going around in the same direction…It’s perfect you know. It’s gorgeous. It’s almost uncanny.”

Exclusive! Excerpts from Arséne Wenger’s personal diaries*… Le Prof, as you’ve never seen him before: Raw and exposed.

(*Not really)

I’ll gladly take an away point from the reigning Champions. We remain unbeaten this season, and that’s fuel in the tank for next week’s game against the European Champions. But I’m NOT going to comfort myself on how close we were to beating City. Shoulda, coulda, didn’t.

I’m not the kind of person who lets facts and stats get in the way of what I believe. (You’ve probably realized that by now.) So I have to rely on other things to support my fantastical Arsenal theories, such as the Tarot, or silly quotes. That way, I’m always right, and no-one can argue with me or prove I’m an idiot.

Is it a bird? is it a plane? is it Superman? No, wait… It’s just dust on the lens…