Tag: Robin van Persie

Exclusive: Lukas Podolski, Skunk Rider!

Posted on April 27th, by batmandela in Barclays Premier League, Eye Candy, Opinion. 1 Comment

Guard of Honour? Pah!

Include me out.

I’d much rather see this.


Fools Rule: Fanning The Fire

Posted on March 10th, by batmandela in Fools Rule, General, Opinion. 5 comments

Our motto says it all: Victory Through Harmony. Perhaps that’s the biggest lesson we have to learn? As Gunners. If we’re ever to start winning again…

RSNL-R-US

Posted on October 28th, by batmandela in General, Opinion, The Squad. 2 comments

A rather ruffled ARSÉNE WENGER pushes a large shopping cart packed with footballers up to the counter. He fumbles through his pockets, eventually producing a fistful of wrinkled receipts, which he places on the counter…

Arsenal and the Holy Grail

Posted on October 9th, by batmandela in Champions League, General, Opinion, Tarot. 9 comments

The story of Parcival is practically word-for-word the story of our hunky French striker! It’s like History repeating itself! History repeating itself! And here’s the good part…

Wishful Sinking: Why We Should forget van Whatsisname.

Posted on September 12th, by batmandela in General, Opinion. 1 Comment

Us Gunners are a passionate bunch. No doubt about it. And competitive rivalry between clubs is an essential part of being a supporter. But, in the same way that we run the club with solid principles, and play the game with a sense of style, so should we, I believe, conduct ourselves in an appropriate manner.

The Sting In The Tale

Posted on September 11th, by batmandela in Barclays Premier League, General, Opinion. 2 comments

The Arsenal fairy tale du jour is that Ian Wright, Thierry Henry, Dennis Bergkamp AND Robin van Persie all opened their Arsenal league goal-scoring accounts against Southampton…

On contracts…

Posted on August 26th, by batmandela in General, Opinion, Tarot. 2 comments

“When is a door not a door? When it is ajar…”
“When is a contract not a contract..?”

It bothered me during the Great Cescape – when our club captain, with four years remaining on his contract, was allowed to throw the world’s longest, sulkiest hissy-fit – making himself useless to the Club, and forcing a move back to Barcelona.

It bothered me this week, when Alex “Blingalicious” Song slouched off to follow Fabregas to basque in golder pastures. (Our Top Deck midfielder was supposedly unhappy with his mere £55 000-per-week salary – hence the insolence? – and before you could say “WTF..?” he was gone). This despite two, maybe three years remaining on his contract.

Penis Over Brain had us bent over a barrel for nigh on a year – before he practically took a dump in it with his July 4th Declaration of Independence: the footballing equivalent of a ‘Dear John’ letter – and turned what should have been a routine contract extension into a drawn-out, messy divorce. (A divorce that left us with the house and the memories: he got to marry the home-breaking slut; and keep the kid. (Kid was a Man Utd supporter anyway, so, no loss there…)

Even as … Read More »

THE TOWER

Posted on August 20th, by batmandela in General, Opinion, Tarot. 2 comments

“Misery, distress, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception, ruin.
It is a card in particular of unforeseen catastrophe.”

Hmmm. Maybe I need to find a more optimistic Tarot deck. It’s behaving rather like a black-bag-Gooner at present… The urge to ‘cheat’ and draw another card was almost irresistible, but I guess there is an Arsenal-appropriate lesson to be learned by accepting the hand I’ve been dealt, and making the most of it.

“Misery, disgrace, deception”

Do I wish that our traitorous captain hadn’t issued his foolish and ill-advised Independence Day statement? Yup. Do I regret that he backed his Manager, his Club, into a corner – forcing them to sell him to the only club that showed interest? Yes, sirree. And most of all: do I regret that that club was our sworn enemy? Of course I do.

I would have loved to have seen him be true to his many words, and only win trophies with his beloved childhood club. For a gray-haired, glass-ankled donkey, he sure had a great last season – “dragging us over the finish line” (with a little help from his friends…) But the donkey has joined the Dark Side and gone off to join Shrek at you-know-where. Too … Read More »